Having a baby and being a mother can be one of the most wonderful experiences of your life. However, what many people don’t talk about is how it can also be full of very real challenges. Many women find themselves wondering whether what they’re feeling is Postpartum Depression vs Postpartum Anxiety, and how to tell the difference.
What many people don’t talk about is how this time can also be full of very real challenges. Long sleepless nights, aching breasts and sore nipples. Over-stimulation from listening to the baby crying or constantly being touched. And struggling with your new body post-delivery are all frequent experiences postpartum. While all are normal experiences, they are also extremely difficult for many women and can impact postpartum mental health.
If You Don’t Feel Like Yourself After Giving Birth
I think for a lot of families and women, we have this mental picture of how having a newborn should be. We are bombarded with images online and in the media of blissful mothers and quiet soft babies. New mothers are represented as ecstatic, serene and full of joy at being a parent. They show up as unequivocally in love with their child. For many of us though, this is not how things feel.
Many women struggle with their bodies postpartum. There’s extra weight, c-section scars, healing vaginal tears or episiotomies, and breasts full of milk and leaking. Breastfeeding can feel impossible, especially if there are issues with latching or supply. And your beautiful baby can feel almost alien to you, this strange new being who is 100% dependent on you.
When something feels off but you can’t explain why
For a lot of women, motherhood is overwhelming. And also at times, very isolating. I frequently hear things like “I don’t feel like myself, but I don’t know why.” Women are told they should be happy or grateful. That pressure can make it difficult to share any emotion or thought that might be contrary to those expectations. Because of this, many women feel guilty or ashamed. And they don’t reach out for perinatal mental health support when they are struggling.
What Postpartum Depression Can Look Like In Real Life
What Postpartum Depression Can Look Like In Real LifeAfter the birth of my first daughter, I remember being completely overwhelmed and utterly exhausted. I felt like I was stuck in this hazy detached groundhog day of nursing and pumping (we had latch issues with breastfeeding), changing diapers, walking the house with my daughter in my arms, and trying to find a second to eat or bathe myself before she cried or needed to eat again. I barely slept.
My body didn’t feel like my body. I remember thinking there was something wrong with me. Other new moms looked so happy and content. I felt like a failure. One evening when she was a couple months old, I went to a local mom’s group and someone asked how old my daughter was. When I told her, she simply said “oh, you’re still in the black hole.” This one phrase summed up how I felt and I was so grateful someone understood. I was not alone.
Common postpartum depression symptoms
Postpartum depression can affect how you feel emotionally, how your body responds day to day, and even how you think and make decisions. For many women, it’s not just one symptom. It’s a combination of emotional, physical, and cognitive changes that can make daily life feel much harder.
- Feeling sad most or all of the time, or a sense of hopelessness
- Being somewhat detached or numb, like a robot
- Thinking you’re a bad mother or a failure, with significant guilt
- Appetite changes (not eating at all or eating much more than normal)
- Disrupted sleep, including insomnia even when the baby is sleeping, or sleeping excessively
- Frequent crying spells
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Loss of interest in things you would typically enjoy
- Withdrawing from friends and family or avoiding social situations
Serious postpartum depression symptoms can include thoughts of wanting to be dead or scary persistent thoughts of hurting yourself or hurting the baby.
What Postpartum Anxiety Often Feels Like & Why It’s Missed
Although anxiety and depression are frequently described as being two sides of the same coin, postpartum anxiety symptoms can feel very different than postpartum depression.
Women with postpartum anxiety feel consumed with constant worry or ruminating thoughts. They feel hypervigilant and constantly on edge. They may feel like their thoughts are racing or caught in a spiral. Intrusive thoughts may occur such as worrying you might accidentally hurt the baby.
An example of this might be a mother who is having intrusive thoughts about dropping her baby down the stairs and is so terrified this will happen she refuses to carry the baby up and down the stairs herself. Physical symptoms can include insomnia, chest tightness or heart palpitations, upset stomach or nausea, headaches, body aches, fatigue, shortness of breath and poor concentration.
Some women may also have anxiety or panic attacks. Women may sometimes describe their thoughts as irrational or not making sense but they cannot control them or make them stop.
Can Someone Experience Postpartum Depression vs. Postpartum Anxiety At The Same Time?
As both postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression symptoms may overlap such as sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, and negative self-thoughts, it is possible for a woman to have both disorders at the same time.
Both postpartum mental health conditions may be impacted by multiple factors including hormonal changes postpartum, lack of social support, medical difficulties during the pregnancy and/or a traumatic delivery, lack of sleep, and personal and/or family history of mental health conditions.
Although having a name for what you are feeling can be comforting, it is ultimately more important that treatment focuses on providing relief for your symptoms and addressing any ongoing causes.
How Long Do Postpartum Depression vs Postpartum Anxiety Last?
While there is no simple answer for how long postpartum depression vs postpartum anxiety symptoms may last, it is strongly agreed upon by experts that getting help earlier will often lead to quicker improvement. Untreated, postpartum mental health conditions may linger, lasting months or even years. However, treatment doesn’t mean lifelong medication for everyone. Many women will experience significant symptom improvement in the first few months of treatment.
What Support & Treatment Can Look Like
Postpartum mental health treatment should be based on the individual woman’s symptoms and designed to meet her unique needs. Bloodwork is often reviewed and/or ordered to assess for nutrient deficiencies such as low iron which can contribute to fatigue and even anxiety symptoms. All women should be assessed and given appropriate referrals when needed such as lactation, physical therapy, postpartum support groups and individual counseling.
Discussing basics such as sleep, nutrition and hydration, self care and support at home is also important. In some cases, perinatal mental health support can include recommending nutritional or herbal supplements. Medication when appropriate can also help provide relief from postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression symptoms. Treatment options should be discussed and involve shared decision-making so that women are able to make the best decision for themselves and their family. If desired, spouses/partners and family members can be included in this process for further support.
If you’re unsure whether what you’re experiencing is postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, or something in between, speaking with a provider who specializes in postpartum mental health can help. A conversation can help clarify what you’re feeling and what kind of support may be helpful, without any pressure to make immediate decisions. It is important to remember that you are not alone. Nor are you a failure or a bad mom. Other women have been through this or are currently feeling the same way as you. Help is here.
